The Trick To Having All the Time You Want
ok.... confession time....
Confession time… Writing this newsletter has been on my TO-DO list since November 2022. Yep, the woman who preaches about getting your goals totally failed at making this newsletter happen for THREE MONTHS.
Initially this was supposed to be our “happy holidays” email, then I pushed to January and it became the “welcome to 2023” email and now, it’s the “let’s get super real and talk about the behind the scenes messiness that we wrap up with a bow for Instagram & BTW our Craftcation Conference is almost SOLD OUT” (click here to join us) email.
My unofficial (IE: he has no idea) mentor Gay Hendricks has this theory about why we put things off. He says that we have all the time we want. This means that if something is a priority, you’ll make the time for it. Anyone who has paused everything to care for a sick loved one (including yourself or pets) knows this is true. The tough part for most of us is making the things we want (like setting aside time for creative exploration, personal growth or business education – like what you get at Craftcation) that aren’t actually emergencies (like taking your toddler to the doctor) important enough to push other things off the schedule for them.
The tough part for most of us is making the things we want important enough to push other things off the schedule for them.
Years ago, I was the queen of saying “I don’t have time for that” as a reply to pretty much everything from, “can you meet me for lunch?” to “why are your armpits so hairy?” to “why haven’t you finished that online course?”. Then, I took a long hard and uncomfortable look at where this notion that busyness = purpose came from and unpacked what I wanted purpose to mean for me and how I truly wanted to spend my time.
That was the year that I started really living Gay Hendricks’ idea of time. I realized that lots of the stuff that I “didn’t have time for”… shaving my armpits, finishing painting the outside of my house, sending thank you notes (sorry mom), and a laundry list of other things were actually way less important to me than the other stuff I could be doing with that time.
I used that armpit shaving time to deep breath in the shower. Trees almost completely hid the side of my house that was still red and not gray like the rest but I took afternoon walks. I regularly take breaks from work to play with my son Luca and I trust that my loved ones wouldn’t feel jilted by a thank you video or text vs an actual note.
Those TO-DO’s that never seemed to get done belonged to someone else. They were born from the expectations of society or my family or a younger version of myself who valued things like hairless armpits and Emily Post level manners.
We are evolving all the time. this means that our priorities are, too. What was paramount to you five years ago may not be top dog now. That’s a good thing! It’s proof that you’re growing. This isn’t your permission slip for a never-ending TO-DO list but it is a reminder to take a moment to think twice or even “thrice” before you consider adding something to that list.
Every decision you make on how to spend your time is yours to make.
Yeah, it’s a lot of responsibility. It can feel selfish or indulgent or optimistic to prioritize the things you truly want to in your heart. As much as every moment with my son Luca is a damn miracle and I want to be snuggling him right now as he sleeps, I also want to be sitting here writing this to you. This doesn’t mean that this is more important than him. It means that at this moment Luca doesn’t need my attention as much as this email to you does. It means that each of us (parents or not) has the right to put ourselves and our dreams first (at least some of the time).
When my grandmother was in hospice, her caregiver made it very clear that my mom needed to step away and do things that filled her cup. I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times but you can never hear it enough, YOU CAN’T POUR FROM AN EMPTY CUP!
It doesn’t have to be that dramatic and it doesn’t have to mean neglecting your responsibilities or loved ones. I’m asking that before you say “yes” or “no” or “ugh… OK” to anything, take a moment to consider YOURSELF. I know it can be hard for some of us to think of ourselves first so try this trick I use.
Remember that if your cup is empty, you have nothing to pour from! You won’t have anything to give if you don’t give to yourself. Next, ask yourself if that task is truly important to you. Not to harp on the armpit shaving but most of the time, using that time to decompress is more valuable to me than hairless pits.
Now is the time when I’m supposed to get into all the behind the scenes stuff involved in my tardiness in this email to you so here you go…
- Challenges with my anxiety and OCD.
- Plans changed due to Covid.
- Needing time to be offline.
- I could go on and on.
None of that really matters. What does matter is that I’m here now and I’m not beating myself up about it being “late”. Now is the perfect time for me to write to you. It’s the time when I felt ready to stop myself from organizing the kitchen junk drawer rather than write this. It’s the time when I reminded myself that if I just sat down and started, I’d find the words or rather the words would find me.
You’re never actually late. When you start, it’s the perfect time. You’re never too old or young or inexperienced or weird or common or whatever it is that’s holding you back.
Every single time that I moved “write December email” another week ahead in my Google Calendar I thought about it. I thought about what I had to say at that moment, the time it would take and 1.2 million other thoughts and each time until tonight, something else took priority.
I’m so glad I listened to myself and waited. Even if only one of you reading this is giving yourselves some grace about pushing a deadline, saying no or rolling over TO-DO’s, it’s worth it.
I’m here to tell you that it's OK!
You’re OK!
Your timeline and your priorities are OK.
In fact, all of it is way more than OK.
It’s all pretty damn amazing and SO ARE YOU!
So go out there and do something (even if it’s one small simple thing) for yourself and for your big bold dream this week or even today.
And, if your dream includes starting or growing a business or diving into your creativity, or finding the merry band of welcoming creative weirdos to call your own, come hang out with me at Craftcation Conference this spring.
Registration closes in less than two weeks on February 17th at midnight PT and we’re just about sold out!
Are you wondering… what’s Craftcation? It’s our annual craft and business conference at the beach in Ventura, CA featuring 200+ craft workshops, business classes, social & wellness activities. But, it’s also much more than that! Ever year, the most common word our alumni use to describe Craftcation is LIFE-CHANGING. Yeah, it’s that awesome!
"I took a chance and went to Craftcation alone last year. I was nervous and didn’t know what to expect. By the end of the first day, I knew I’d made the right choice. Strangers became friends almost instantly. I learned more than I could have imagined. There’s no way I’ll miss Craftcation EVER! Craftcation changed my life! It was worth every penny."
- Sarah, Craftcation Alumni
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@dearhandmadelife
Thursday, February 9 at 1pm PT
If you’re a maker, creative business owner or just want a creative vacation, this is your chance to have a life-changing adventure that will push you towards your dreams.
IF YOU ARE A MAKER, CREATIVE BUSINESS OWNER, OR JUST WANT A CREATIVE VACATION….
Then, take a tour of Craftcation here. We are going LIVE! to answer your questions about Craftcation! Join Nicole and Katie Mac LIVE February 9 at 1pm PT for a fun hangout and to get your questions answered!
BRING YOUR QUESTIONS TO OUR LIVE Q&A!
JOIN US ON INSTAGRAM
@dearhandmadelife
Thursday, February 9 at 1pm PT
I loved your statement “You’re never actually late. When you start, it’s the perfect time.” I think that will be my new mantra!
Also, I don’t know if your are aware that hairy armpits are all the rage now. And… your multicolored house is called creative genius.
See you at Craftcation!
I’m so happy to read that it resonated with you! I love your perspective on my hairy armpits and half-painted house. HA HA! 🙂
Funny, right before I read this, I was thinking that my house and car were a mess and that I needed to get them clean before Craftcation because 1) I will be driving there, so my car needs room for my luggage and supplies and 2) my mom will be watching my cats and she’s nosy, so I need to clean up so she doesn’t “judge” me or start asking me questions about things I don’t want her to ask questions about. And then I realized that it will get done when it’s ready to get done and not a moment sooner and if it’s not perfect, so what. I will be better than it is now. So thanks for the reminder.
YES! I’m so glad this came at the perfect time for you. You’re so right – it will get done when you’re ready to do it. See you at Craftcation! 🙂
Thank you for this. I love reading your newsletter and I always walk away feeling inspired in one way or another. I can’t wait for Craftcation and so much more of this in person 🙂
Thank you so much. I’m so happy it inspires you. 🙂 See you at Craftcation!