How to have your year of “I love myself and I don’t give a damn what other people think”

i carry a small notebook with me everywhere...

I can’t remember ever going anywhere without a small notebook in my purse or pocket (and, of course, a pen). 

Over the years and 18 moves I’ve made traversing California in U-Haul after U-Haul as I ping-ponged back and forth between Northern and Southern California, some of the notebooks have vanished but I still have quite a few of them. 

Often they’re filled with grocery lists or packing lists for trips that I hardly remember because I was a different person then, younger and more carefree. There are lots of scribbles of names and phone numbers from random people I ended up on buses or in dive bars with during my 20s while living in San Francisco. I’ve always had this talent for turning small talk into unexpectedly deep conversations and afterwards, people feel this need to pretend it’ll happen again hence all the names and numbers that rarely went anywhere.

In those small notebooks, there are one-liners that came to me that I hoped to one day weave into a piece of writing or that I jotted down so I wouldn’t forget a moment. Things like, “my wrinkles are badges of honor” or “we are our own soulmates” or “Luca’s eyes when he looks in a mirror.” 

While most of the scenes that those phrases popped into my head are a mystery…. a few take me right back to the moment. The wrinkles and soulmates… those moments are gone. But, when I read “Luca’s eyes when he looks in a mirror”, I’m transported to the day we put a mirror on the headrest facing my son Luca’s car seat. The look on his face… It was as if he was looking at the most magnificent creature on the planet. It was as if he’d just fallen in love at first sight and was ready to give up everything he’d known before that moment. It was if he was totally unapologetically in love with himself. 

It seemed like that, because that’s exactly what was happening. Luca was (and still is) in love with himself. All the self-consciousness that comes when you’re no longer a baby (hello, puberty and Junior High trauma!) is still a ways down the road. The inevitable need to put your own wants and needs aside to live up to other people’s expectations lies far off in the distant future. For now, it’s pure love, acceptance and gravitating toward joy. 

I’m not naive. I know us adults can’t spend our days staring in the mirror and giggling or throwing whatever displeases us across the room or saying “no” about 5,000 times a day. 

But, I do think we can try to tap into that baby love we felt for ourselves before we understood that there was any possibility that we weren’t perfect. And, we can remember that once, there was a time that we only tried to please ourselves. We weren’t hung up on what other people thought about what we did or whether we’d succeed or fail when we tried something new (watch a toddler learn to walk for a refresher course in resilience). I’m not advocating for adult-style brussels sprout tantrums or leaving your stuff strewn wherever you please. 

But, what if this year you love yourself a little more than you did last year? What if you embrace that quality about yourself that’s always made you insecure and realize that as Meryl Streep said….. 

What if this year, you do one thing that you’ve held back on doing because you’ve been scared of failing or of what other people will think or finding out the thing that you’ve been fantasizing about doing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 

Remember that book The Year of Yes? What if this is your year of “I love myself and also I don’t give a damn about what other people think”. OK, I know that’s long, I’m working on something more bitesize. But until I do, just do it! Start loving yourself a little more and pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. 

Here’s your homework, it’s the first step in commitment, sharing it with another person! Head here, send me a DM to let me know what you’re going to do to love yourself a little more and/or what you’re going to pursue that you know you want but have been too scared to go after. 

And, If you need some extra accountability and support on this trip to loving yourself and moving towards your authentic purpose, mark your calendar because enrollment for Dear Handmade Life: The Club is opening on February 1, 2022. 


  • Group coaching in our monthly mentorship sessions where you get personalized help from me, Nicole, as well as support and advice from your peers
  • Monthly business classes featuring an expert-led workshop in an essential business skill that matches our monthly theme: social media, goal-setting, newsletters, hiring help, etc.
  • 24/7 support through our online group where you get support, encouragement and resources from members and us
  • Our creative business boss book club where we have guided discussions about what we’re learning
  • Unlimited access to our class library with on-demand classes and workshops led by some of the most sought-after teachers in our community
  • Access to the resource hub – our curated list of the service providers, platforms and services that we love and use

Enrollment will be open February 1 – 15, 2022.
After that, it won’t open again until the summer. Those on our waiting list will be notified first when enrollment opens – you can join that list below.  


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Tuesday, February 8 - 5pm PT
Tuesday, February 15 - 1pm PT

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